2008 Woodie Awards
Remember When
From the Profile October 17, 1997
O'Reilly, Bren
Issue date: 9/29/06 Section: Arts & Entertainment
I think it is time we have a discussion on campus about a very important issue. Yes, that's correct, I'm getting off my preachy social responsibility kick to discuss something far more important: How to make the perfect Martini.
Mmm. A good martini is like nothing else you will ever drink. First, some basics.
Number one: GIN MARTINIS ARE BETTER THAN VODKA MARTINIS. Dammit, the Martini was developed with Gin as its staple. Why screw up a good thing? In the 1970s Americans an affinity for vodka, the most disgusting of all liquors. I assure you, Gin is better.
Number two: YOU CANNOT MAKE A DECENT MARTINI WITH BAD GIN! Martinis are a cocktail. Quite simply cocktails have a higher ratio of alcohol to mixer. Hence, the alcohol you use must be of a VERY high quality. If you use Heaven Hill Gin, then you might as well swallow rubbing alcohol. It is an insult to use such a virtriolic fluid in a Martini. I recommend Boodle's Gin, Bombay Gin, Bombay Sapphire Gin and Tanquerray Gin. Mmm. Especially Bombay Sapphire.
Number three: USE AS LITTLE VERMOUTH AS POSSIBLE! Vermouth is not a pleasant fluid. Vermouth's presence in a Martini is solely intended to add a tinge of sweetness to the drink. It is supposed to complement, not overpower, the Gin.
Number four: MARTINIS MUST BE SERVED ICE COLD! I highly recommend the purchase of a silver cocktail shaker, real Martini glasses, and a cocktail strainer. Store your Gin in the freezer along with your Martini glass.
Number five: SPANISH OLIVES ARE A MARTINI'S BEST FRIEND! There is not a taste in the world as wonderful as a Gin soaked olive. MMMM.
How to make a Martini from start to finish. Pour one drop of Vermouth into your frozen Martini glass. Swirl the drop around and shake as much of the Vermouth out of the glass as possible. Return the glass to the freezer. Pour six ounces of Gin into the shaker and fill with ice. Shake the mix for twenty seconds and strain into the Martini glass. Gently place an olive in the drink and grasp the glass by the stem. Enjoy.
Incidentally, a Martini is supposed to be sipped slowly and savored. Yeah, well, good luck. I swill 'em down as if there's no tomorrow and with disdain for my liver. I'm lucky if a Martini lasts me more than 15 minutes.
I prefer extra-dry Martinis. That is to say, I don't use Vermouth in my Martinis. Some would call it a shot of Gin. I call it a Martini.
It is important, I suppose, to detail Arkansas' best Martini lounges. Unfortunately, there aren't any real Martini lounges here. The only place I've discovered that consistently serves the best Martinis in the best atmosphere is the Afterthought; great jazz, dim lighting, and a dry Martini. Nothing better.
"No. You don't understand. I want my Martini so dry that I can see the dust on my olives." anonymous Martini drinker to a bartender
Mmm. A good martini is like nothing else you will ever drink. First, some basics.
Number one: GIN MARTINIS ARE BETTER THAN VODKA MARTINIS. Dammit, the Martini was developed with Gin as its staple. Why screw up a good thing? In the 1970s Americans an affinity for vodka, the most disgusting of all liquors. I assure you, Gin is better.
Number two: YOU CANNOT MAKE A DECENT MARTINI WITH BAD GIN! Martinis are a cocktail. Quite simply cocktails have a higher ratio of alcohol to mixer. Hence, the alcohol you use must be of a VERY high quality. If you use Heaven Hill Gin, then you might as well swallow rubbing alcohol. It is an insult to use such a virtriolic fluid in a Martini. I recommend Boodle's Gin, Bombay Gin, Bombay Sapphire Gin and Tanquerray Gin. Mmm. Especially Bombay Sapphire.
Number three: USE AS LITTLE VERMOUTH AS POSSIBLE! Vermouth is not a pleasant fluid. Vermouth's presence in a Martini is solely intended to add a tinge of sweetness to the drink. It is supposed to complement, not overpower, the Gin.
Number four: MARTINIS MUST BE SERVED ICE COLD! I highly recommend the purchase of a silver cocktail shaker, real Martini glasses, and a cocktail strainer. Store your Gin in the freezer along with your Martini glass.
Number five: SPANISH OLIVES ARE A MARTINI'S BEST FRIEND! There is not a taste in the world as wonderful as a Gin soaked olive. MMMM.
How to make a Martini from start to finish. Pour one drop of Vermouth into your frozen Martini glass. Swirl the drop around and shake as much of the Vermouth out of the glass as possible. Return the glass to the freezer. Pour six ounces of Gin into the shaker and fill with ice. Shake the mix for twenty seconds and strain into the Martini glass. Gently place an olive in the drink and grasp the glass by the stem. Enjoy.
Incidentally, a Martini is supposed to be sipped slowly and savored. Yeah, well, good luck. I swill 'em down as if there's no tomorrow and with disdain for my liver. I'm lucky if a Martini lasts me more than 15 minutes.
I prefer extra-dry Martinis. That is to say, I don't use Vermouth in my Martinis. Some would call it a shot of Gin. I call it a Martini.
It is important, I suppose, to detail Arkansas' best Martini lounges. Unfortunately, there aren't any real Martini lounges here. The only place I've discovered that consistently serves the best Martinis in the best atmosphere is the Afterthought; great jazz, dim lighting, and a dry Martini. Nothing better.
"No. You don't understand. I want my Martini so dry that I can see the dust on my olives." anonymous Martini drinker to a bartender
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