2008 Woodie Awards
Editorial: The Real Sickness
Issue date: 2/1/02 Section: Editorial
- Page 1 of 1
This country has gone a bit overboard with patriotism. The other day in the grocery store I saw a box of baby diapers clad with red and blue stars cleverly marketed as "Little Patriots." Is this really going to help us win the war on terrorism? Our view here at the Profile: Yes, infants urinating and taking bowel movements on Old Glory will most certainly give this country the much needed moral edge we have been desperately lacking since September 11th. This country's morale is fine. If anything, we are a little too proud. It is our own bodies that should be the cause of real concern.
In this season of sickness, with our earthly vessels being ceaselessly terrorized by cowardly infections and viruses, from where does our boost in spirit come? I wonder if every time our bodies get sick, all our cells get together for charity events and patriotic rallies with an ambiguous amount of the proceeds pledged to the war against mononucleosus. I wonder if our mitochondria have little pins attached to them in memory of those brave white blood cells that fought and died to destroy the dastardly flu strands that wish to deprive our body of freedom. Our view here at the Profile: A resounding yes. Our body does issue propaganda to itself. And it comes in the form of cheap flags of ourselves that are plastered onto the walls of our tiny blood veins and arteries that run throughout our body. Inevitably they will fall off when we feel better.
In this season of sickness, with our earthly vessels being ceaselessly terrorized by cowardly infections and viruses, from where does our boost in spirit come? I wonder if every time our bodies get sick, all our cells get together for charity events and patriotic rallies with an ambiguous amount of the proceeds pledged to the war against mononucleosus. I wonder if our mitochondria have little pins attached to them in memory of those brave white blood cells that fought and died to destroy the dastardly flu strands that wish to deprive our body of freedom. Our view here at the Profile: A resounding yes. Our body does issue propaganda to itself. And it comes in the form of cheap flags of ourselves that are plastered onto the walls of our tiny blood veins and arteries that run throughout our body. Inevitably they will fall off when we feel better.